Hot vampire of Hogwards
by Vera Pollack
Summary: The story is about a young smexy hot gothish pale whatever vampire who tells us interesting tales about him beeing half naked in the forest. Meanwhile killing the protagonists of the Harry Potter Universe. Hope you'll enjoy. One one one one one one...one.
1. Chapter 1

It was a regular day for me as a vampire living in the forbidden forest near the school named Hogwards. I was sexily sitting on top of a tree half naked if you mind; in my leather pants…sparkling in the moonlight. And I was also goth and satanist and whatever you want me to be. You may heard some new, weird rumors about vampires. Most of the people think we are dangerous, evil, human killing beings but that is just wrong. We are all teenage boys, we are pale, hot, virgin, emo and goth and we all have a heart of gold. Okey I laughed my ass of writing the last sentence. No, we are eating people. Mostly virgin women for they taste like marshmallows. We look amazing despite the fact we have no reflection to check our look. That is why we are the best. We hate garlic, steak and crosses. So we can not go to a Madonna concert! Thats terrible! We love her! Nevermind back at the 'story'…

The dark grey and blueish night made me feel sad and depressed…and also hungry!

Luckily enough I heard some girl sreaming with my ultra mega sensitive cute bat ears. They are cute and fluffy by the way. So I was hearing this gong for dinner as I opened my big, dark brown bat wings preparing to fly off. Girl blood smell was everywhere it was like a dream come true I haven't eaten in days my Gosh! Also Lol if you mind my language.

Finally I saw that girl. She was chased by a very evil monster thingy stuff whatever so I jumped down, between the girl and the monster –heroicly- and I roard at it. As a vampire a superior species in the forest that monster thing stuff had nothing against my sexy powers of half nakedness so he runned away. Or was he? Yes.

Anyway I turned back misteriously and I saw that little girl all teary and crying staring at me. She had long wavy, light brown hair she looked smart. I walked to her and she stepped back. Who knows why.

-Don't worry. – I said. – I don't want to hurt you. – I lied.

-Who are you? –asked the dinner.

-My name is John. – I answered sexily as always and I started to provide my sexy vampire magic on her so I can hold her under my control.-As you can see I am a vampire but there is nothing to worry for I am a Kaname kind of vampire who don't eat people but may or may turns out we are twin brothers. –I winked.

-My name is Hermione Granger. –She said finally. – I was trying to find some cat grass for one of my witch potions.

-Alone, at night? –I asked. She nodded. I nodded too, so she can understand I got it. Humans are really silly creatures also they don't even have any sexy half naked vampire magic powers.

Yeah, the mood was all black, and gothishish and emo and satanic or something.

I grabbed her hand and looked into her eyes and I said:

-Now I go back to the school with you, because the forest is very dangerous for you if you are alone. –I fell in love with her immadiately. It was love for the first sight.

We walked for long hours in the wild forest permanently loving each other. We had so many in common. She had two leggs, so had I. She had white skin, so had I, she had clothes on, so had I. We became unsepareable. And finally we reached the end of the forest and by the light of the torches we saw the great building of Hogwards. The small cabin of Hagrid was near us, I heard his breath inside it. It was a very romantic moment. We stand face to face and I grabbed her softly.

-You are the most adorable person I have ever met. –I said to her. She started to cry so smexy I was. Also hot. (Me)

-I wish I shouldn't leave now. –she said.

-You don't have to go. –I answered naughtily. And I winked. Hotty. –What about a last kiss? –I asked.

-I love you. –she said. -I know. -I answered.

And I bitten her neck and started to suck out all of her blood. It tasted amazing. Like a cup of hot tea in the coldest wintery snowstorm. I just drunk and drunk. My troat could not stop this amazingly hot, sexy method. I was actually extatic it felt like a steak in my heart. When I was done I put her dead body in the grass, turned back and I flew away before breaking down. As you all know, we vampires start to sparkle in the sunlight and that is the gayest thing ever so we have to hide ourselves from the shame. No I was kidding, we don't sparkle. We shoot missles out of our asses in the sunlight. But eather ways we have to hide in underground pubs. In hot, sexy, goth and satanist underground pubs.

It was a regular night for me, John, the Harry Potter vampire who is not Harry Potter but thats a different story and shall be told a different time. Good night everyone and bloody dreams.

–insert evil laugh here-


	2. Chapter 2

It was about 11 am. I was still awake because I was reading a very exiting article in Vampire World News. It was about some mysterious vampire attac in Hogwards. They said some girl was hotted by a vampire and she died. What a weird coincidence. I was having my meal just about 8 hours ago right there! I could have been that poor girl! It is so terrible! The article also said some students teamed up to take their revenge for her. That is the real strenght of youth they have my full support in spirit. So I ordered a last cup of tea from the barman and I hanged myself up to the roof upside down as usual and I went to sleep. I had a really weird hot, sexy, goth, satanist vampire dream about myself and my magical half nakedness.

But then I woke up because I heard some non sexy weird lightning scar noise from outside. It was near midnight already. I jumped off the ceiling and I walked to the door. I opened it smexily and checked what's outside. A centaur fell off the sky and landed before me. It was weird. And then I smexy hiper heard (cute fluffy bat ears remember?) some red haired human sound. I love soulles blood so I immediately started to run there yet carefully because I knew how people usually amazed when they see my pure smexy half naked myself. I walked through the forest for like 5 minutes and then I saw two young boys. There was a black haired one with glasses. He was like 5 on the sexy scale and there was the ginger one he was like 7 on it. Im a 10/10 of course. And also hot. (Me)

So I was watching them as they angrily talked about some friend of theirs who was apparently dead and killed by a vampire. The argue made them just more sexier. Nevermind as I was there minding my own sexy business (breakfast) and that was the moment the two little boy realized I was there.

They seemed to be angry for some reason they pulled out their wands I was amazed by my own naughty thoughts. They pointed at me and shouted something like: „latinishwizarstuffroar" but I am not sure. Some lightning came out of the wands and the powers hit me. It was totally not sexy. Not sexy at all. I jumped back up and then I flown off a tree but my smexy tummy was hurt. They didn't stopped their magical still non smexy wizard thing and they blowed the branch up I was standing on. Meanwhile it turned out the ginger ones parents were vampire so he became goth, satanist and he loved converse. I gasped. But then I was fed up with this whole totally not hotty and irresponsible nonsense. Someone can be hurt with this going on. I jumped down the tree and I captured the red haired one and I flew away with him. Sexily.

I was in the air with the boy and I tried to broke his neck because he was trying to get away but accidentaly I dropped him. Oops. He fell down to the top of a tree. I was turned back for him but he shooted at me again. I've had enough I wasn't even hungry at all! I turned away theatrically and hotty and alongside my smexynessfull half naked dignity I leaved.

That's all for today. I'll try again tomorrow night. You may ask what will I do tomorrow night? The same thing I always do. Yes. I definietly will. Good night for everyone.


End file.
